It's a ache...

When I had Brooke design my blog back in 2009, I LOVED my header tagline: "There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you."  I loved it, because I lived it.  Or tried.  Writing that year was akin to breathing for me.

Three years later, and I'm so sad to see the decline in my blog posts.  I haven't made the time for myself to do the thing I love most to do.

And I am determined to change it.

The next few weeks are insanely crazy for our little family -- not even so much with the holiday madness that every one of you are facing -- but with trips and parties and surgeries and birthdays and more surgeries on top of the two surgeries we had in November....ugh.

But come January....I am resolved.  Jim seems to have the bedtime touch.  It's amazing.  When I'm not in the house, he can get the kids (all three of them) down peacefully and without much fuss.  So, I think that I'm going to start disappearing on Tuesday nights.

Not all night.  Just sometime between dinner and bedtime, maybe after James' dinner feeding/nursing.  There is a coffee shop just 2 miles up the road, with free wifi, and I think there is a seat that has my name on it.

I want to escape to my writer world, if only for a few hours.  Just long enough to let Jim get the kids to sleep and for me to spew some of the backlogged words that have been choking me for months.  Too many months.

I've only written 20 posts in the last 90 days.  And only 45 in the last 6 months.  That is UNACCEPTABLE.

I don't even care if anyone is reading anymore.  I need to write.  I NEED TO WRITE.