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December 13, 2007.

It wasn’t a good night.

You can read about it here.

I was alone, and I was tired, and I was ready for it all to just be over.  There were a lot of emotions running through this momma-to-be’s heart.  Anxiety.  Love.  Uncertainty. Fear.  Hope.  Fatigue.  Questions.  Confidence.

But all the pain Seth caused me on the eve of his birth was worth it.  In fact, it most likely saved his life – the pain he caused and what I had to endure to resolve the issue at hand.  So, of course, it was worth it.

December 13, 2011.

It wasn’t a good night.

I was alone, and I was tired, and I was ready for it all to be over.  there were a lot of emotions running through this momma’s heart.  Anxiety.  Love.  Uncertainty. Fear.  Hope.  Fatigue.  Questions.  Confidence.

Seth caused me some serious heart-pain on the eve of his fourth birthday.  He is acting out, and while I know it’s in response to Jim being gone, to the the move, to the chaos that we are living daily, to the lack of attention he’s getting from me.  However, his behavior this night was out of control, and he needed to be punished accordingly.

And it got me thinking about the verse in Proverbs 13: “He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes” (or, in the more familiar vernacular: “spare the rod, spoil the child.”

I did what I know was right to do in punishing Seth, and I have to believe that it was worth it – that the pain he caused and what I had to do to resolve it may in fact, in the long run, save his life.  Building his character now, even on the eve of turning 4, will serve him his whole lifetime.

On that note, I pray tomorrow is as joyous a day as December 14, 2007.  Granted, at 6:06 pm, I’ll be in choir rehearsal, rather than hearing the sweet cries of my firstborn, and those two hardly compare, but, even still…

Seth, you’re worth it.  You always will be.  I love you so very, very much.