30 x 30 Weeks 9 & 10

I didn’t mean to take Labor Day off from McFatty Monday.  But, somehow, it happened.  Oops.

Week 9 was better than Week 8, for sure.  See?

• Weight lost: 3 lbs.
• Total lost since July 6th: 5 lbs.
• Pounds to go in Phase Two: 11 lbs.

Yea, me!  I was focused again, after the weeks of yo-yoing and disappointment.  I rocked Week 9.

And then.

Week 10.  Which can be summed up in a phrase that I think epitomizes my struggles:

“And because it was there, …”

I read a book over the course of Week 10 – a just-for-fun book, not a diet and nutrition book – but I did pick up on something the author was using, and it was that phrase.  She was using it as non-dialogue filler, just to help develop a scene, but three times that I can recall off the top of my head, she used the phrase:

• “Because it was there, Jack reached for a beer…”
• “Laurel mulled over what Mac had said, and because it was there, reached for another chip.”
• “Del stopped to think about Parker’s argument, and just because it was there, picked out a slice of the sausage and pepper pie.”

Oh, my goodness.

Where do I sign up for a cameo appearance in that novel, because I’d fit right in!

Seriously, that is me.  Mindless snacking, just because it’s there.  One more trip to the pantry, just because I know something yummy is in there.  It’s horrible, and I want it to STOP!

So, seeing as how I’m not going to get even remotely close to my 30 x0 30 goal (heck, I’m not even going to see the flip side of Phase Two), I’m just recommitting, again, to be more mindful, and to nix the snacking in the bud.  Because I’m finding that just because the snack is under 100 calories, or even if it’s healthy, if it’s CONSTANT, I’m still not going to lose.

Week 10?

• Weight lost: none, not even maintaining. I’m back up 4 lbs. in 1 week.  And as much as I’d like to blame two end-of-summer BBQs on the gain, I need to admit it was the parties PLUS some bad habits I let creep back in.
• Total lost since July 6th: 1 lbs.
• Pounds to go in Phase Two: 15 lbs.

New oh-how-happy-I’d-be goal is 12 lbs  by the 30th.  I know that is neither practical nor healthy, but hey, I’m being honest.  New realistic goal? 7 lbs. by the 30th. And, after that, we’ll reevaluate.

Jim and I will be heading to Las Vegas for a conference in a couple months, and I’m kind of using that as a new motivator.  That, and this picture:

 
I love these people, and I love the happiness in this shot.

But it’s fuzzy because it is so cropped, and it’s so cropped because I look AWFUL in it.  It makes me really, really sad to see my chubby face, and flabby arms (which, whew, is it least somewhat hidden thanks to Doug and Sara’s arms), and I hate that Sara and I have been trying ALL STINKIN’ SUMMER to get this picture of the four of us….and now that we have it, I’m ashamed of it.

Maybe that’s just my vanity speaking, but I need a good kick in the pants.  Because 6 weeks ago, I weighed 10 lbs less than I do right now.  So, no more “I just had a baby excuses.”  I did this to myself, and – this’ll make Jim laugh – in the words of Carrie Underwood….

I wanna UNDO IT.

Here we go.

Again.