And so it begins

 Erin, my love, you are already one month old.

Everyone tells you that time moves forward more quickly with each passing day, the older one gets.  If I didn’t believe that before you arrived, I do now.

I’m trying so hard to treasure each moment of your newborn days.  The way you try so hard to focus on my face while you are eating; the flailing movements of your arms as you practice coordination; the way you still try to revert to the fetal position when your diaper needs changing.

At one month of age:

• You are eating 3 oz of breast milk about every 3.5-4 hours
• You wear newborn diapers (and mommy has learned the hard way that Pampers Swadlers are worth the extra pennies).
• You are still in preemie sleepers, but can wear newborn onesies without looking too ridiculous.
• You can sleep for up to a 5 hour stretch, though you still tend to do this more during the day than during the overnight hours.
• Your eyes are still deep blue; your hair, shades lighter than your brother’s (though it’s hard to tell in photos).
• You look so much like your daddy I can hardly stand it; it makes me so happy!
• You’re not a very big fan of your car seat.  While I can’t say I wouldn’t wish that you were, given how often we travel, I can understand your position, and I promise to do my best to accommodate you.

I think I have found my nickname for you – the one that seems to roll most naturally off my tongue.  Lady-Lou.  I have no idea where it originated, or how I came up with it, but in the wee hours of the morning, as we rock, or as I try to console your cries from the drivers’ seat, that is the name I interchange with yours as I whisper lullabies and tell you of my dreams for you.

Erin, I’ll tell you as you grow older that I was so afraid of birthing a girl.  I was so fearful of the mother-daughter relationship that I was sure to mess up.  But now, here you are, and my heart has become so full of you.  If I love you so much after only 31 days, I can’t imagine the love I’ll have for you after 31 weeks; months; years.

You are my shining star; I love you.