To start at the beginning of the story, click here.
When I woke, I said to Jim, “I do not want to do this. Any of this. I don’t want to get out of this bed; I don’t want to live out this day. I do NOT want to do ANY of this.”
But you’d never know; not by looking at our family’s itinerary for the day.
You wouldn’t know that I was a mommy walking around with the knowledge of a dead baby in my womb. You’d not guess that Jim was strolling the fairways with little desire and on even less sleep. If you did know these things, you might wonder how we could possible have gone about as “normal,” when we were facing such tragedy.
Well, what else we were going to do? Sit around and stare at each other all day? No thank you.
So, we had breakfast at Sonic.
And played golf.
And took Seth to the zoo with some of his favorite people.
Other than those few details about our day, I don’t remember a single thing. I couldn’t tell you anything else about how the hours passed, or who we talked to, or if we even talked at all. I think – and I guess I can’t really speak for Jim here – we went into survival mode; the only goal being to just get through the day.
Monday, and the answers it would bring, would come soon enough.
To be continued ….
3 comments:
I remember talking to you while you were at the zoo and Doug looking at me like I was crazy when I told him where you were & where Jim was. I could most certainly feel that you & Jim were both in survival mode. :( *hugs*
Oh Monica. (((hugs))) You are such a strong woman. Thank you again for sharing Duncan's story!
Our body can only maintain crisis mode for so long...survival mode is its own form of grace...
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