I've got my game face on

With all of my recent trips to various hospitals and to numerous doctor's offices, you'd think I'd have already seen my obgyn, Dr. Morgan, in the last month. But between her vacation, our second trip to Ohio, and conflicting schedules, we actually hadn't seen each other since before Seth and I went to Florida.

However, Jim and I were finally able to sit down with her and discuss what is going on with my body right now, and what will be going on with it in the coming months.

While we wait for her to receive the results of the placental testing from Promedica (in Ohio), we will be set up with a Maternal Fetal Medicine group here in Nashville. This group of specialists will be overseeing my Recurrent Pregnancy Loss (RPL) panel (a series of blood work tests) and any subsequent pregnancy/ies that I may have here in Nashville.

These tests are structured to look for any abnormality or disorder that I have that is interfering with my pregnancies. I know some of you may be thinking, "why haven't they done this testing already?," and it's a legitimate question. Most doctors will not even think about this series of tests until a patient has had two, and more often three, miscarriages. We were planning on having RPL testing done once we'd moved to Tennessee, but became pregnant with Duncan too quickly.

Because these tests need to be run when a patient is not pregnant, we will be waiting several more weeks to make entirely sure that all my hormone levels have returned to normal. Once the testing is done, we should receive the results within a few weeks.

Dr. Morgan is confident that we will get our answer. I think she is leaning toward me having an autoimmune blood clotting disorder. This is one of the better case scenarios, as most clotting disorders can be treated in such a way to increase the odds of a successful, full-term pregnancy into the 90th percentile.

Here's where my blood pressure starts to rise, as my brain spins around all the possible ways this testing could go.

~ the testing could show a specific wrong that is treatable. Then we would have to decide whether the risk is worth trying another pregnancy.
~ the testing could show a specific wrong that is NOT treatable. Then we would have to decide what form of permanent sterility is best for Jim and I.
~ the testing could be inconclusive. We'd then be back to deciding if the risk to my health could be too great to attempt another pregnancy.
~ the testing could show a treatable wrong, and only one of us would want to pursue another pregnancy, while the other thinks the risk is to great.

And those are only the questions that pertain to another biological pregnancy.

Overall, though, both Jim and I were encouraged after our appointment with Dr. Morgan. We feel like we have a game plan, even though the next step is still a few weeks off. Most likely, we will have all the information needed to make our next decision by the end of the summer.

Please keep this situation -- specifically the RPL -- in your prayers. We have made it very clear to our doctors that this is the only testing we plan to pursue, so we are, in a manner, putting all our eggs in this one basket, as far as getting any answers go.

It's an unsettling place to be in. We want to do what is best for our family, and best for my health, and at times, we just don't know what direction to go. This is something you don't plan for. You plan for your children's college fund; you plan for retirement. But just the having of a baby? It's supposed to be simpler than this.